Journey of Hearts

Sadness is a state of being that enhances the connection to others. It increases self-esteem, by allowing for an awareness of, or insight into the meaning and importance of the loss, the grief or significant change, or disappointment.
Jean Baker Miller and Irene Stiver

• Sadness is actually a positive state of being, rather than a negative one.
• Sadness pulls people to you, enhancing your connections (in contrast depression often pushes people away).
• Feeling sad is a part of a healthy adjustment to a loss or disappointment. It is part of the healing process, allowing for increased awareness and processing of the loss, grief, change or disappointment.

Everyone will feel sad from time to time depending on life events, just as everyone grieves. The concern is when this "sadness" becomes depression and the depression becomes dysfunctional.

The Blues

• Feelings of "The Blues" may be intense and unsettling, especially when part of the "Holiday Blues" and if those around are full of holiday cheer.
• Short-lived - The Blues only last a few days to a few weeks around the holiday season (prior to or just after).
• Emotions usually subside after the holiday season and a daily routine is resumed.

Depression

Several factors are different with depression:

1. Duration - the symptoms are present nearly every day and persist for most of the day for at least 2 weeks.

2. Pattern - the symptoms occur together during the same time frame.

3. Impairment - the symptoms cause a level of distress or impairment that interferes with important parts of daily functioning including:

• Work
• Self care
• Social activities.

* From Pfizer Inc, copyright 1996.

It is difficult in the midst of a loss, a change, or dissapointment to be able to see these experiences as learning experiences or a chance to grow (Sometime in experiencing a loss, I feel that I have learned enough...thank you very much). Often the sooner this can be realized, the sooner the event reframed, the sooner the sadness will change into a healing.
To quote Nena O'Nell on how to view crisis:

Out of every crisis comes the chance to be reborn, to reconceive ourselves as individuals, to choose the kind of change that will help us grow and to fulfill our lives more completely.

If you are feeling like harming yourself or someone else, or are feeling depressed, helpless or hopeless, Call 911, your local suicide hot-line, or Crisis Intervention line, located in the Yellow Pages, or contact the Samaritans via e-mail at:

For screens without frames http://www.samaritans.org.uk/textonly.html/texthome.html
For screens with frames http://www.samaritans.org.uk/sams.html/home2.html

The Samaritans is a UK charity, founded in 1953,which exists to provide confidential emotional support to any person, who is suicidal or despairing; and to increase public awareness of issues around suicide and depression. This service is provided 24 hours every day by trained volunteers, and relies upon public donations.

Call someone--a friend, or family member, your clergy or physician. Look in the Yellow pages under Counselors, Psychologists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists, if you feel you may need immediate professional assistance.