Journey of Hearts

The following guidelines were adapted from recommendations by the Alzheimer's Association, for ways of coping with the loss of a family member to Alzheimer's Disease.
This page is dedicated to my Grandmother, Mildred Dyer, who is still with us, but we lost to Alzheimer's Disease 3 years ago.

These recommendations are equally applicable to anyone who is dealing with a loss--in what ever form it may take.

Coping with Loss of Someone to Alzheimer's

It is common for caregivers to experience feelings of loss, after someone you love has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, especially if your life and the person you love is significantly changed by the disease.

The Grief Process

The natural phases of grieving usually involve denial, anger, guilt, physical symptoms and eventually--acceptance. However, it is important to realize that everyone grieves differently.

Some of the feelings and symptoms you may experience include:

• Denial that your loved one is ill.
• Periods of helplessness, despair and depression.
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns (more or less)
• Anger or frustration with the person with Alzheimer’s and having to care for them.
• Withdrawal from friends, family, social activities, and the person with Alzheimer's.

Throughout the process of grieving and mourning the loss of a loved one to Alzheimer's, guilt is often a prevalent feeling for caregivers.

Guilt can be related to:

• Thinking you could have or should have done something differently.
• Being able to enjoy life while your loved one may not.
• Feelings that you have failed, especially if your loved has been placed in a nursing home.
• Negative thoughts about the person with the disease, in particular, wishing his/her suffering would come to an end.
• Conflicts with family members for a variety of reasons, but usually because they are uninvolved and/or critical of care that’s being provided.
• Many cases feelings of guilt are linked to unrealistic expectations.

Some suggestions for coping with guilt:

• Confront your feelings.
• Accept guilt as a normal part of loss and grief.
• Find ways to forgive yourself..
• Share your feelings with a friend, family, support group, physcian, counselor, or spiritual leader.
• Learn to be okay with accepting and celebrating good things in your life.

Coping with the Grieving Process

Some suggested ways of coping with grief:

• Returning to some aspects of your daily routine.
• Allowing time for physical exercise, play and rest.
• Trying to find humor even in difficult situations.
• Bringing balance into your life by doing things that you enjoy.
• Preparing for what the future may entail.