In some regards,
because of the finality of the death, this may be the most difficult way
of letting go. Knowing that you will never have a chance to see that person
(or pet), be with them or experience their laughter, joy, nuzzle
or touch can be initially overwhelming, and it may be years before the
grieving process is over. It is the ultimate "Good bye."
See the Condolence Page.
In the days following the loss, one progresses through the stages of grief...Denial (shock), Bargaining, Anger, Depression and finally Acceptance.
Initially the feelings of anguish, loss and despair can be so intense that we feel we will not be able to survive. I think about Tom Hanks' character in "Sleepless in Seattle," describing the days following the death of his wife, reminding himself to breathe every day...and somehow you just keep on going.
Poems on Getting through the Darkness
Many of the poems that I have
included on this website are poems that help put into words the emotions
and the feelings evoked during the process of letting go of someone or
something.
The poems that I have included,
Anguish describes the intense feelings, but leaves
you hanging with the grief.
Learning in time the "Grief Flies Away"
As with all losses with time, the "grief flies away," and we begin
to reframe our losses, and realize that we can be grateful for having the
time with that person, in the words of Frank O'Connor, having something
or someone special to lose," "something worth grieving for. "
Our memories of the person or pet never entirely diminish, but you
learn to remember the good, diminish the bad and allow life to move on
with you.
In time we begin to live again and remember that which we have lost
in a different light, realize that they would not have wanted us to grieve
forever. The words they would have used to console us in our grief:
At Long Last, a final letting
go....
| Farewell..my beloved
Friend,
...my companion, in many dreams. I release you, at last 
...not in sadness, but in joy! 
For the song you brought shall sing forever, Within my heart! Joan Walsh Anglund
|
After many days and nights of grieving, we can let them go and learn
to love again.