Journey of Hearts

Myths about the Nature of Grief:

• All losses are the same.
• All bereaved people grieve in the same way.
• You will be the same after the death as before your loved one died.
• You will have no relationship with you loved one after the death.

• It takes two months to get over your grief.
• Grief always declines over time in a steadily decreasing fashion.
• The intensity and length of your grief are testimony to your love for the person. pet or thing lost.
• When grief is resolved, it never comes up again.

• If is better to put painful things out of your mind.
• Once a loved one has died it is best to put him or her in the past and to on with your life.
• You should not think about the deceased at anniversaries or holidays because it will make you feel sad.

• Bereaved people need only to express their feelings and they will resolve their grief.
• Expressing feelings that are intense is the sam as losing control.
• There is no reason to be angry at people who tried to do their best for your loved one.
• You should feel only sadness that your loved one has died.

• Grief will affect you psychologically, but in no other way.
• Only sick individuals have physical problems in grief.

• If is not important for you to have social support in your grief.
• There is something wrong if you do not always feel close to your friends and family, since you should be happy that they are still alive.
• It is better to tell bereaved people to "Be brave" and "Keep a stiff upper lip" because then they will not have to experience as much pain.
• Rituals and funerals are unimportant in helping us deal with life and death in contemporary America.

Each one of the above statements is a myth!  
Adapted from How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies by Theresa Rando.
  The Art used on this page are by J. W. Waterhouse: Windflowers, 1903 and Miranda--The Tempest, 1916