Emergency
Pick-me-up Page
Humor
on the Job - Medical Records
Journey
of Hearts
A Healing
Place in CyberSpace TM
Actual
Medical Records
Authors and Transcriptionists
Unknown
The following, reportedly
are from actual medical records written by paramedics, emergency room receptionists,
transcriptionists and physicians.
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The patient was admitted
for a near sinkable episode.
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The skin was moist and dry.
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Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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Occasional, constant, infrequent
headaches.
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The patient had waffles
for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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Her father died of a ruptured
ape.
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When she fainted, her eyes
rolled around the room.
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The lab test indicated a
normal lover function.
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I saw your patient today,
who is still under our car for physical therapy.
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The patient lives at home
with hs mother, father and a pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day
care three times a week.
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She stated that she had
been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
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The patient was to have
a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stock broker instead.
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Examination reveals a well-developed
male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
The slightly more "X-rated"
records
-
While in the emergengy room,
she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
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If the patient has continued
pain a pornographic view of the mandible is recommended.
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Exam of the genitalia reveals
that he is circus sized.
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Rectal exam revealed a normal
sized thyroid.
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Bleeding statted in the
rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Last updated April 2, 1998
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