Ways of Coping
Story - A Sandpiper
When One Person Can Make a Difference
Journey of Hearts
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
This story was sent to me from
one of our frequent visitors. The story is one that really touched my heart,
and made me think about and reassess what is important in life, how we
take so much for granted, and how we find the gift of love in the most
unlikely places. This
story was another example of how one person can impact another, and often
an act of kindness, volunteering and friendship can make a difference.
A SANDPIPER
by Kathryn Novatkoski
She was six years old when I first
met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance
of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me.
She was building a sand castle
or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea. "Hello," she said.
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.
"I'm building," she said. "I
see that. What is it?" asked, not caring.
"Oh, I don't know, I just like
the feel of sand. "That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.
A sandpiper glided by.
"That's a joy," the
child said.
"It's a what?"
"It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers
come to bring us joy." The bird went glissading down the beach.
"Good-bye joy," I muttered to
myself, "hello pain," and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed
completely out of balance.
"What's your name?" She wouldn't
give up.
"Ruth," I answered. "I'm Ruth
Peterson."
"Mine's Wendy... I'm six."
"Hi, Wendy." She giggled. "You're
funny," she said.
In spite of my gloom I laughed
too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me. "Come again, Mrs. P,"
she called. "We'll have another happy day."
The days and weeks that followed
belong to others: a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, an ailing
mother.
The sun was shining one morning
as I took my hands out of the dishwater.
"I need a sandpiper," I said
to myself, gathering up my coat. The ever-changing balm of the seashore
awaited me. The breeze was chilly, but I strode along, trying to
recapture the serenity I needed. I had forgotten the child and was
startled when she appeared.
"Hello, Mrs. P," she said. "Do
you want to play?"
"What did you have in mind?"
I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
"I don't know, you say."
"How about charades?" I asked
sarcastically.
The tinkling laughter burst
forth again. "I don't know what that is."
"Then let's just walk."
Looking at her, I noticed the
delicate fairness of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked.
"Over there." She pointed toward
a row of summer cottages.
Strange, though, in winter.
"Where do you go to school?"
"I don't go to school. Mommy
says we're on vacation."
She chattered little girl talk
as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left
for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better,
I smiled at her and agreed.
Three weeks later, I
rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even greet
Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding
she keep her child at home. "Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when
Wendy caught up with me, "I'd rather be alone today."
She seems unusually pale and out of breath.
"Why? "she asked. I turned to
her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, my God, why was
I saying this to a little child?"Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a
bad day."
"Yes, and yesterday and the
day before and -- oh, go away!"
"Did it hurt? "
"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated
with her, with myself. "When she died?"
"Of course it hurt!" I snapped,
misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.
A month or so after that, when
I next went to the beach, she wasn't there. Feeling guilty, ashamed
and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my
walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored
hair opened the door.
"Hello," I said. "I'm Ruth Peterson.
I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was."
"Oh yes, Mrs. Peterson, please
come in. "Wendy talked of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother
you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies."
"Not at all-she's a delightful
child," I said, suddenly realizing that I meant it.
"Where is she?"
"Wendy died last week, Mrs.
Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you."
Struck dumb, I groped for a
chair. My breath caught.
"She loved this beach; so when
she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and
had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined
rapidly... " her voice faltered.
"She left something for you...if
only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?"
I nodded stupidly, my mind racing
for something, anything, to say to this lovely young woman. She handed
me a smeared envelope, with MRS. P printed in bold, childish letters. Inside
was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a yellow beach, a blue sea, and
a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:
A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU
JOY
Tears welled up in my eyes, and
a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy's mother
in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I muttered over and
over, and we wept together.
The precious little picture is
framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for each year of her
life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, undemanding love.
A gift from a child with sea
blue eyes and hair the color of sand -- who taught me the gift of love.
© Kathryn
Novatkoski
About the Author
When I wrote to the author for
permission to use the story, the response generated was that from a kindred
soul:
"By all means you can use the
story -- if it would help just one person it will be worth it."
Last updated February 19, 1999
The Sandpiper is copyrighted to Kathryn Novatkoski
and used with permission.
The sandpiper drawing was one created on our Paint
and © 1998 Kirsti A. Dyer, MD, MS.
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