Condolences & Sympathy

Journey of Hearts

Perhaps a scene that best describes this state of mind, is from "Sleepless in Seattle," when Tom Hanks' character is talking about the days following the death of his wife, reliving those feelings as he speaks on the phone when he states..." I had to remind myself to breathe." 

In this section of the site, we hope to create some calming images, share some soothing words, some words of inspiration and some ways of remembering to help with the initial numbing phases, to nullify the shock and help start slow healing process.

The Ache that never leaves
It is also for anyone who may be experiencing a long-term grief, one that never leaves; it becomes a part of you. This kind of loss is one where--

the hurt never truly goes away, it just gets smaller and condensed, tucked away in a corner somewhere in the deep recesses of your heart. There it remains at a constant low level ache, which with time often can be barely perceptible. But the intensity of the grief and loss can surface again, just as painful, and often without warning, making you feel that your were once again experiencing the loss anew.

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." "You meant to die?" asked Yellow. " Yes and no," he answered. "What at first looks like you will die, but what is really... you will live." From Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

"I CAN feel better."

I chose the title "What can I do, now?" as opposed to "What do I do, now?" to stress the importance of the word "CAN." Although you may be in a state of shock, there still are thing that you CAN do to help yourself, recognizing that you are not a victim to your circumstances. In the early phases of the grief response, the "Why Me?" stages it may seem like it. Chosing to live again, chosing to find ways that "I CAN feel better," does not diminish the loss. This is particularly important if it was a loss through death, where there may be guilt associated with not staying in 'mourning' long enough. I believe that the people I have lost would be glad to see that I am living, not staying in 'mourning." You just reach a point where you decide to not allow the loss to control your life and choose to live.

Sometimes
they speak to us
in our dreams;

Sometimes
in thought
the wind hears them,

And for a moment
with their echo
Other echoes return
from the first poetry
of our loves.

Learning to Live Again Webring
For this reason, Journey of Hearts joined the Learning to Live Again Webring. This webring is a ring of stories, of loss, survival and learning to live again. When I saw the name, the purpose of the ring, and their graphic with a flying angel-butterfly, it was a ring that could have been created from Journey of Hearts, so it was one we needed to join.
From it's creator, Ashli Gillespie, who formed the ring after the death of her infant daughter to SIDS, as a way to bring share the experience of loss in hope that it would help others:

"In everyone's life there are tests. These tests determine who we are. How we survive is sometimes a story that must be told for those who are searching for the answers. Our stories are important. Sometimes we get caught up in our own lives that we don't realize that we can reach out to others, sharing our experiences, so they can learn from what we've done. This is the ring that binds together these stories. The stories of our strengths, courage, hope, hard work, and yes, even our mistakes, can bind us together to help someone who may need it, or even ourselves. My goal is to have this be a ring of hope. So that others know that they too can Learn To Live Again know matter what life changing circumstance has affected their life."

This Learning To Live Again site is owned by: Journey of Hearts Click for: [ Next Site | Skip Next | Next 5] [ Previous | Random | List ] Click here for info on how to join Artwork by: Lady Bre