Among the difficult
lessons and challenges that I have faced during my lifetime has been
that of learning not only when, but how to let
go.
There are many different events that can happen and many different
situations that arise, when one needs to know how to "let go." The situations
are varied...whether the death of a friend, family member or favorite pet,
the loss of a relationship or friendship, or the loss of a home due to
fire. The losses can be many and diverse.
"Letting go" can also occur when someone is trying to get rid of
a bad memory, of a past event (traumatic life occurance), or dealing with
the letting go of a child through relocation (moving, divorce, going off
to college).
On Reaching Acceptance
Before someone is able to let go, they must first recognize the
problems with not letting go, with not processing the grief, the
loss, the anger and how much time is being spent praying, hoping and wishing
that things could be different.
For the most
part, the energy expended on the "what if's" and "if only's" is non-productive.
Time does help to mend some wounds, but rarely can change events. The clock
cannot be turned back, what has happened has happened and now must be dealt
with.
The type of loss that occurs may make the process more difficult.
With the ultimate loss through death, the person is not coming back, there
is no negotiating. With losses of relationships, divorce, children, there
still may be a connection, a hope that things will change...eventually
the reality is recognized that this too must past. I have had to reframe
many of my past relationships or friendships as "deaths"(of the friendship
or relationship and the person you thought you knew) in order to reach
an acceptance point to move on and let go.
And as always remember in the words of Joan Walsh Anglund: