Surviving Loss by SoaringTM
Journey of Hearts™
was designed to be a Healing Place with resources and support to help those
in the grief process following a loss or a significant life change. Education
is one of the best ways to understand the grief response and aide people
in recovering from loss. This website contains a variety of different Grief
AIDEs to help in the education process including information, techniques
for coping, resources, and links to other websites. Grief AIDEs help people
understand and work through the grief process following a loss, how to
survive present and past losses and how to cope when old losses become
felt anew, or new losses occur.
Soaring™ is offered as another Grief AIDE to help
in surviving a loss, be it acute or long- standing. The concept is probably
best utilized in circumstances that require picking oneself up, learning
how to "fly" again following a loss and restoring self-esteem and self-confidence
rather than crawling around consumed by grief.
cannot be content to creep,
feels the impulse to SOAR.
Soaring™ provides positive motivation for
overcoming loss. The types of losses or crises best suited to this concept
include relationship, occcupation, financial setbacks, diagnoses with long-standing
medical conditions etc. These losses require that one accept and integrate
the loss and recognize that their life is forever changed.
The Process - SOARING™
The Soaring™ concept is based on Transitional
Medicine which is designed to help a grieving person in the
transformational process following a loss, going from loss through transition
to reach healing. In this process of working through the grief following
a loss, a person is forever changed.
(Soaring™ has been slightly revised
from our original concept proposed in 1997 which incorporated some of the
"Letting Go," "Moving On," "Recovering" and "Getting Over it" concepts
so pervasive in grief theory during the 20th century.)
The concept can be distilled into the acronym
|Sensing the need. Determining
it is time to change.
Opening the mind and the
heart to change.
Ameliorate the Grief. Assimilating
Reconcile the loss. Releasing
Recognizing you are forever transformed.
Working through a grief response to a loss can
be challenging; it often requires drawing on internal resources and discovering
sources of strength that the grieving person may have been previously unaware
of their existence. One of the challenges is recognizing that there is
a need to change. For many people being in the state of grief—living with
past memories, remembering better times—can be comforting and become comfortable.
People are resistant to change, yet loss and the resulting suffering often
forces us to change:
us to change.
We don't like change
and most of the time we fear it and fight it.
We like to remain in
emotionally familiar places
even through sometimes
those places are not healthy for us.
On occasion, the suffering
is so great that we have to give up.
We surrender the old
and begin anew.
Often it is the pain
we experience that leads us, not only to a different life,
but a richer and more
Significant losses or life-changing crisis
force people to change. The concept of Soaring™ can provide people with
a framework for transitioning through that change: Sensing the need and determining it is time to change. Opening
the mind and the heart to change. Ameliorate the Grief and assimilating
the loss. Reconcile the loss, releasing the pain (if possible) and finally recognizing you are forever transformed. Ultimately,
the grieving person emerges from the crisis changed or reborn and transformed,
as the butterfly, and stronger and victorious, as the phoenix with the
ability to SOAR.™
Recognizing that loss is an instrument for change
and that a person is forever changed following a loss, the focus in Transitional
Medicine is on the transformation process. Crises can be viewed
as a chance for self-assessment and personal growth that may force a person
to critically evaluate the situation and find the opportunity frequently
previously overlooked or unconsidered prior to the life-altering circumstance.
It is important to remember that although grief is a powerful, universal emotion, but is most often survivable.
Grieving people must recognize that they often will not "get over" grief; rather in time they
learn how to integrate the loss or change into their lives and keep living.
Out of the pain may come richer and more rewarding life.
People who soar are
those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change.
They neither complain
of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in.
Rather, they visualize
in their minds that they are not quitters;
they will not allow life's
circumstances to push them down and hold them under.
is © by Maryann Sterling at Maryann's
Art and used within the copyright guidelines of the artist.
See the Emergency
911 Page for links to immediate resources
if you are feeling helpless,
hopeless, overwhelmingly depressed, or suicidal.
| A Healing Place
| Loss & Grief
| Emergency Pick-Me-Ups
| Condolence & Sympathy
| Transitional Medicine
| Butterflies & Blazes
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